Sundays are always the same
It doesn’t seem to matter where you are or what you are doing, Sunday’s always have the same slow feel to them. Today was no exception. Not a lot really happened, and in a way I was quite relieved not to have to do a lot. We didn’t ride, which was fine by me as the bruises I have from the no stirrup work yesterday are agony. Bloody buckles!
I’m actually kind of amazed that I even know what day it is. My brain is a bit fried really, and because we’re doing similar things every day things are starting to blend into one. So it’s really quite remarkable that I have any concept of time left to be honest!
One thing I’ve been quite surprised by since being here, is how much I’ve enjoyed being with a group of people. Those that know me well, will know that I’m a really quite an anti-social bugger. I’m usually not too good at the whole social thing, nor do I enjoy being in a large group of people with noise and movement and energy. I’m quite solitary really, and enjoy the peace and quiet of my own company and that of dogs and horses.
There is very little choice given to you here, as the house is full of family and interns. So I’ve had to get over those issues of mine and come to terms with the fact that I will be spending the next few weeks surrounded by other people. And, much to my own surprise, I’m quite happy with that. I’m actually enjoying spending time with a group of people, getting to know them and allowing them to get to know me. It’s good. Really good.
My other issues to do with touch and trust are also gradually being lessened. Last night I asked Ginny to rub my shoulders, as I had a particularly painful knot. I did explain to her that I’m a bit funny with physical contact but she was very good about it. Turns out my lower back is more messed up than my shoulders, so she’s saving that for another day! Not sure whether to be pleased about that or not. What I am pleased with is that I was happy to have her rub at my shoulders because not only did it make me feel better, but it reminded me that it’s okay to be touched sometimes. This doesn’t mean I’m going to get all huggy on people (please don’t get excited, those of you who like hugs) but maybe it means I’ll start coping better. Maybe.
What’s nice is that there is no pressure from anyone here. Having realised that I’m happy to be sociable during my stay, I still don’t feel like I have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to. I quite enjoy the mornings, as I’m up before anyone else so I have about half an hour usually of tranquillity to gather my head together and prepare for the day ahead. I’ve never been at my most communicative in the mornings, but fortunately no-one else seems to be either so I don’t feel like such a grump. For once.
I think it’s good for me here. I feel like it’s giving something to my soul. Being outside all the time most definitely beneficial in a number of ways, but being around all these people also seems to be adding something. I feel happy, which is nice. I also feel productive and although I’m completely knackered all the time at the moment, I’m also refreshingly motivated.
Apologies for the rambly personal blog today. I had very little to report regarding that actual horsey stuff. So I emptied my head a bit.
Here’s hoping I’ll have something new for you tomorrow.