Never make promises you can’t keep.
Nor should you ever say things that you cannot guarantee the truth of later on. Especially not to yourself. This year I told myself “I won’t be getting ill this year, too much bother, I’ll just stay healthy” Which was a very stupid thing to do. Because I got my hopes up and was all excited about a germ free winter. And now? Now I’m rotten stinking ill aren’t I?! You can’t trust anyone these days. Not even yourself.
I hate being ill, it really is one of the worst things. Especially the kind of stuff I’ve ended up with. It started as just a stupid cold, you know the drill, can’t breathe through your nose, sneeze a bit, head all stuffy. It seems to have gradually deteriorated into a full blown case of “I hate you body, die die die”. Which is, by the way, a genuine illness. It involves bad stuff settling right deep in your chest, causing any breathing to be tricky, let alone through your nose. My legs are a bit shaky and my head is so fuzzy that I keep forgetting what I’m doing. My temperature was up last night too. Something hates me.
When I feel like this, all I really want is for it all to just go away! I don’t want to tuck up in bed and be looked after, I want to be well! I think I’m probably the worst patient ever. “No I don’t want a hot water bottle and nice drink…TAKE MY GERMS AWAY!” I also don’t have much inclination to eat when I’m unwell, the thought of everything just makes me feel a bit sick. Drinking doesn’t hold much appeal either, until I actually have a drink that is. Then it’s the best thing in the world. So I suppose I do need looking after, in the sense that I need someone to force feed me, hold me down so that I rest and remind me to drink plenty. Sigh. Mum’s are pretty good at that. Mine is anyway.
I do feel a little better this morning than I did last night. I got through the day okay yesterday, but once back at the cottage everything started to go downhill a bit. By the time I went to bed, I was a mess. I decided going to college today was probably not the smartest plan, especially as I’d only be going in for two lessons. One of which is riding, which I probably shouldn’t be doing right now given that I can’t breathe properly…
So of course yesterday, I rode twice. We do an Equestrian Teaching module this year, which means we have to actually teach riding lessons. Yesterday, Hollie and Louise were left without students so a few of us were asked if we’d be happy to ride and have them teach us. I said I would, wondering why I’d just put my hand up given my state of “urgh” at the time. So I hopped on Fox and Hollie began teaching. I felt terrible, even though it wasn’t my fault, because Fox and I managed to ruin most of her lesson. He decided to be a bit of an idiot about some poles that were laid out for an exercise. Not because he was scared of them, oh no, because he wanted to go over them. So every time I tried to circle at that end of the school, he started trying to drag me off to go over the poles. And when I said no? He took umbrage and cantered off. Fortunately, I have experienced that before, so I just sat back and rode him through it. Hollie, bless her, was brilliant. She talked to me while he was racing around, reminding me to breathe (easier said than done right now) and suggesting I try to still any movement in my back to try and bring him back to trot without pulling on the reins (which would only make him go faster). Once all that excitement was dealt with (twice) she thought on the spot and changed the exercise so that the others were able to use the poles, but Fox had to avoid them.
Louise’s lesson was up next, and having just witnessed Fox be an absolute idiot, she started off without taking any chances. Having given my crop away during his “throw myself around the school” phase, I ended up needing it back again because his trot suddenly became very slow and unwilling. Not that I needed to use it, however. “Oh, is that a stick I see…trot on? Of course I can.” I think he must’ve had some abuse from someone with a crop at some point because he is definitely one horse that shows an adverse reaction to them. Yet another thing to add to his list of traumas. Poor horse. By the end of the lesson though, I was able to do some sitting trot without stirrups quite comfortably, without any feeling that he was going to be naughty. In fact, he seemed to relax considerably and began to drop his head and listen to me properly. And as is always the way, the minute I started feeling happy, the lesson was over.
There was no point taking off my riding gear though as we had a half hour lunch break before our scheduled riding lesson with Emma. This time I saddled up Tilly, the young cob mare. She’s still very sweet, just a bit naughty. She tried it on a few times, swinging her quarters out and refusing to turn to the left. She also attempted to yank on my hands and pull me round corners rather than letting me steer her. On these occasions, I was determined to let her know that she wasn’t going to get away with it so I gave her a tap with the whip, closed my leg and pushed her forwards. Of course this resulted in her trying to canter off, hop around and even attempt a rear or two. But we worked through it. Eventually I had some decent trot work coming along. We were then told we could ask for a canter, and it was when I did so that I realised that’s what she’d needed all along. I put on the aids and she whizzed off immediately. She clearly had a lot of energy that she needed to let out. If I’d been able to canter her straight away and get that stuff moving through, she may well have been much better behaved with everything else. As it is, all she wanted to do was go faster every time I used my legs. The second canter, on the other rein, was better just for having already cantered once. There was more control and a much better rhythm to it and the downwards transition back to trot was much smoother. Poor little pony. She’s so young, she just needs to be worked gently and given a bit of fun at the same time. We’re constantly asking her to work properly and use herself, when all she really wants is to let loose a little bit. Bless. That’s not to say I didn’t get frustrated with her, but I understood.
Yesterday was a really rather stunning day actually. When I arrive at college I usually spend around twenty minutes sitting in my car with music on. I always arrive early because of trying to avoid traffic etc. Yesterday I couldn’t resist taking pictures of the beautiful sky. It was just lovely.
Today, in fact, is equally beautiful from what I can see out of the window. The problem is, I haven’t got dressed yet because I slept in as late as my conscience would allow. Oh, and I’m ill. Otherwise I’d be off gallivanting around in the autumnal sunshine, skipping and dancing to my hearts delight.
As it is, I shall stay indoors for now wearing several jumpers next to an open fire. Actually, I tell a lie. I’ll be ambling home soon so that I can crash out and go to bed insanely early. Sleep is the thing!
Sleep is always the thing.