You Suck, Wantage

I’d rather go to Battle.

The journey home today was long. Ridiculously long. And boring. Wantage is a stupid place. Not only is that a really stupid name for a town, but we spent a good hour in and around the place just sitting still in traffic. Motionless. Stationary. GOING NOWHERE. Urrrrgh. I swear, Wantage sucks. Never go there. If anyone ever suggests going there I may well run screaming in the opposite direction!

On the other hand, we all got VERY excited to see this sign on our way down which sparked endless amusement.

I don’t want to go this way anymore…let’s go to Battle“…”Oh this is so frustrating…it’s worse than going to Battle” and other such super witty phrases were all that could be heard in the car for at least ten minutes. Oh boy are we a funny family.

For those of you who don’t know, my mum and brother and I took the journey down to the South East this weekend to visit my lovely Grandpa who is currently in a Stroke Rehabilitation Unit in Bexhill. Ben and I hadn’t been able to get down to see him until now, so we both took the opportunity when we could. The journey down was pretty easy really and we arrived in the south east in good time. We stopped off in East Grinstead first to drop in on Mum’s eldest sister and her family for a quick cup of coffee around lunchtime. We then continued on to Bexhill, got a little lost, and then found ourselves again.

We spent just over two hours with Grandpa, playing Ludo and probably entertaining him immensely with our silly chat. Turns out, he’s quite a competitive man! He was giving me and Ben the evils every time we landed on one of his pieces, but had no qualms whatsoever about ruthlessly sending all of my pieces back to base so that I had to continue in my failed quest to roll a freaking 6! I am not very good at Ludo.

Despite the fact that he is struggling with his speech, I didn’t find it too difficult to understand what he was communicating to us. He had to write a few things down for clarity, but on the whole we were able to get what he meant quite easily. It was nice to see him, and good to spend that time with him. Both Ben and I felt that the journey was more than worth it, just to get to spend a couple of hours with our Grandpa, giving him the love and support he needs at the moment.

Once his supper arrived we decided to leave him to it and head off to get some food of our own so we travelled down to Eastbourne where we had rooms booked in a guest house for the night. We also had plans to meet up with the ever lovely Simon, which I was super excited about. Once checked in at the guest house, we wandered along the sea front towards the pier which was looking all pretty in the nighttime.

The moon was amazing as well actually although none of my pictures came out very well. It was magical the way the moonlight cast this beautiful silvery light over a section of the sea. I could see the fairy tale in it all. The picture isn’t very good…but it gives you an idea. Kind of.

After dallying around for me to take silly nighttime pictures and curse my camera for “moving around in my hands”, we found Simon’s flat. Maaaaaan it’s a nice flat. I am SO jealous. Like you wouldn’t believe. It’s just so cute and cosy and lovely. I want one I want one I want one! Aaarh.

Even better than the flat itself though, was the owner. Oh my word it was so very wonderful to see that fabulous boy again. I have missed him so much. I squeezed him tight when we got there (before getting my bearings on tea making facilities). I was just so happy to see his lovely face. We warmed up nicely and chilled for a bit before hunger got the better of us and we gave in to the lure of Dominos. Oh. My. God. It was probably the best food I’ve ever eaten in my life. Yes, I was so hungry that ANY food would have gained that status that night..but oh man. Pizza, potato wedges, garlic bread, chocolate dough balls, brownies and diet coke. Mmmm mmmm mmmmm. Fat Megan was very happy indeed.

After spending a few hours with the delightful Mr Gower, watching the new Muppets movie and chatting and noseying around his flat and stuff, we finally hefted ourselves down the stairs and back along the sea front to our guest house (I hugged Simon very hard, twice, before we left). I also probably really annoyed the other people in his building by shouting “LOVE YOU MISS YOU ALREADY” up his stairs. More than once…

This morning, after a very friendly and filling breakfast at the guest house, we headed over to Mum’s other sister, Helen, and her family. It was my cousin’s birthday today, so we had a cup of coffee and a piece of cake and gave her some super cute presents. We then managed to successfully deprive their children of any exciting lunchboxes next week at school by accepting offers of crisps and chocolate and sandwiches for the journey home, before heading off again.

Which is when the HORRIBLE journey part kicked in. Well, actually we were doing okay until it was time to head towards Swindon. We missed the turn because it said Chievely and Mum got distracted by a van coming off the slip road extremely fast. By the time she realised that was our junction, it was over our heads and behind us. Which is why we ended up going through fucking Wantage with all it’s bloody traffic jams and the most pointless ridiculous roundabouts I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

We should have just gone to Battle. It would have solved a lot of issues.
Too late now!

So…that was my weekend. Highs and lows, swings and roundabouts I guess. I think perhaps the only way to finish off this post is to present you with a joke Tillie texted to me on our journey down and that caused me no end of amusement.

“Why did the scarecrow get a promotion”


“Because he was outstanding in his field”



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