This keeps happening!
Every time I think I’m managing to keep myself distanced from the horses at college and not allowing myself to end up all emotionally attached, I end up loving them more than ever.
I adore Fox, we all know that. And every so often I try to remind myself that although I love him, he is not mine and therefore I should not allow myself to get too attached. But then he goes and does something wonderful and reminds me just how much I love him!
I jumped him again today, and he rose to the occasion, as per. I did too, of course. But he was super fabulous. And then Sonya told me that after my lesson on Wednesday, Georgie went and requested for me to continue jumping him as she felt we gelled well. Which just made my heart swell. Because something about that horse makes me feel good. I get on him, and I just feel confident and happy and like I can do anything.
I wish I was at an appropriate place, financially and practically, to be able to own a horse. Because I’d buy him in a heartbeat. I know people might think I’m crazy to say that, because everyone thinks he’s an idiot and difficult and not a horse anyone would want to own. But I love that horse.
Stupid feels. Try as I might, I can’t send them away.