Return of the tan lines!
Oh yes! I am already sporting the incredibly attractive look of very strong tan lines across my upper arms and collarbone. There’s no denying it kids, I am the height of fashion right now. On trend. Working it. The camera loves me. All that jazz. I’m sexy and I know it…
Except…no. It’s fairly ridiculous to be honest. My mum keeps giggling when I walk in the room because apparently I look “funny”. Which I guess is true. I tried on some lovely dresses today but couldn’t take myself seriously in them because my arms just made it look so weird. Sigh.
Though I must say, this burst of sunshine is leaving me in very high spirits, no matter what I end up doing. I am saturating myself in the golden rays, letting it permeate as deep as it can, making the most of our brief English summer. I hope very much that the weather in Ireland will be this glorious, although it wouldn’t be Ireland without a little cat and dog style precipitation at some point, so I’m not holding out for a miracle just yet.
I’m ready for anything though. Me and my tan lines gonna take on the world. With them, I feel invincible. Can I get a hell yeah? Okay, probably not.
And I am absolutely positive that I am not alone in my position. There are people out there with worse tan lines than me, so I know there is hope for me yet. I will prevail.