Fewer Arseholes

The horses are starting to behave again!

Wooho. It’s a miracle. All of a sudden, they’ve switched back to being good as gold. I don’t know what was going on with them. Maybe it just took me growling and running straight at them to give them the hint that it would be easier to just do what I asked in the first place. Who knows. Bloody horses.

Anyways. Adele is still gone. I am still allll byyyy myyyseeeelllfff. You may feel sympathy at this point if you wish. If not, fine, be that way.
The farrier has been. Full sets for two horses, fronts for two others, and trims for two horses and Wendy the donkey. Excellent stuff. He’ll be coming back in October to do all the rest and check everyone over before the pony camp so that the horses are all in tip top working order. We also received our delivery of 40 large hay bales (you know you’re a horsey person when the sight of a huge lorry laden with hay is one of the most beautiful things ever) as well as a huge load of shavings for bedding. Athos is building me a new cover for the shavings so that they are more easily accessible and the hay is being rolled down one bale at a time into a large container where it will stay dry and fresh. Lovely stuff. Happy Meg, happy horses, happy yard.

I baked again on my most recent day off, ginger cupcakes. Yum yum! It was good to bake again, it’s been a while. A good therapeutic session for me. And yesterday I took out two treks. I know, two in one day! I almost forgot what I was supposed to be, it’s been so long since I had a trek. Fortunately both groups were small, and very pleasant to ride with. So although it scuppered my plans for the day with Skooch and Cleo and Maggie, it was still productive and nice enough.

And today it was raining this morning. I looked out and said “nope”. I sorted out the horses and donkeys as per, but then retreated to the office with Anita and sat in the dry with a cup of tea and the internet. The boys all went coasteering this morning so it was just me and Neat for the day. She returned to the house to do ironing after lunch, so I pottered around on my own and ended up massaging Skooch and riding Cleo. I was going to ride both of them, but when I started brushing Skooch’s back he flinched. I decided to take it easy on him, so I gave him a nice gentle massage all across his back and hindquarters and then used the tricks I was taught back at college to do some stretches with him. He loved it! He was licking his lips, dropping his lower lip to the floor, farting, snorting, the whole lot. Afterwards, when I gave him a pat and stepped back to let him know he could walk off if he wanted, he swung his head around and looked at me with that telltale “Who said you could stop?” expression. Cutie.

Cleo, on the other hand, was not going to get such luxury. I hopped on board and made that mare work. She’s got a bit fat and lazy of late and seems to think that means she doesn’t have to listen to her ride or put any effort in at all. So I got her working, listening to my leg and moving forward nicely. She softened well and established a good rhythm in all three paces. I’d set some jumps up earlier in the day, anticipating the ride, in the hope that she’d be working well enough to pop over a couple of fences. I was happy with her, so cantered a circle and then popped her over a cross pole. Easy peasy. She landed on the right leg, so we came around and hopped over it again. She was really smooth today, none of the silly bouncing when she lands. And no cat leaps. I was sure to give her the reins as we took off, so that she knew I wasn’t going to snatch back at her mouth. And she seemed happy with that. Having warmed up over the cross pole a few times in each direction, all successfully, I took her around to the slightly higher vertical I’d put up. Jumping on your own is a pain, because you can’t raise or change the jumps without having to get off. And if you knock it down, well, pfft! Fortunately, Cleo was on top form today and cleared the vertical with room to spare. She really picked up off the ground and soared over. She ran out once, the first time we came from the other direction, but when I took her back around she popped over with only the slightest bit of hesitation. She’s easier to jump from the left. Definitely. I was really happy though, as she worked hard for me and we achieved everything I’d aimed to.

In the coming months it looks like we’re going to fill up the house a little more here at Eclipse. Anita has several new interns due to arrive, for horses, for domestic chores, for IT work. So we’re going to have new faces and voices and personalities to get to know. Should be good. Unless they annoy me of course, in which case good will not be the operative word. Fingers crossed hey?

That’s all for now folks.

Toodle pip.

Well That’s That Then

I’m almost sad it’s over…

That’s right, the Lord Of The Rings marathon is complete. They fought orcs..a lot…and Frodo whinged about a heavy burden…a lot. But we made it through to the other side. Oh, and so did they. Hurrah.

What’s good about the extended editions is that although you end up with a rather numb bum, the characters have a lot more depth to them. There’s a bit more backstory and development to each person, so you feel more involved. Well, as much as you can be with a fictional reality…

It was good though, of course. And I do so love the music. And Legolas’ ability to look ridiculous whenever he is in the background of a shot. The most poignant and dramatic moments were ruined, every time, by either me or Tillie muttering “I’m sensing something” in a dark tone. You don’t know what I’m talking about, and that’s fine. Nor do I really. We amused ourselves, no doubt about that. We even sang along again…

And the thing I found quite amusing? The whole time watching all three films, anytime there were horses involved I spent more time focused on them than the main characters. The clever horse doing flying changes while cantering through the woods because it was changing direction so many times and so quickly. Or the fact that they really shouldn’t be galloping those horses on the stone roads. Or how beautiful Shadowfax is. I mean…what a horse!

We also ended up in conversation about our own potential when it came to undertaking such an epic quest as the hobbits did. We soon realised that my talents, certainly, are limited to off the battlefield. I’d like to think I’d be able to be all badass and take everyone on and beat the shit out of the enemy…but in reality I’d just flail wildly, panic and get killed in the first five minutes. Either that or I would somehow manage to survive and wonder what the hell just happened. And everyone else would be like “what the fuck, how did you make it through that and the hero didn’t? You lucky bugger”

Much better for me to remain behind the scenes, planning and strategizing. Or, I could do the sweet-talking and spy work. I’m good at persuading people. Not that many of Sauron’s armies were particularly keen on negotiating things. They seemed to prefer the tried and tested, grab ax, run yelling unintelligible sounds, kill shit, method to warfare. Sigh. Looks like I won’t be off to save Middle Earth any time soon then. Oh well.

I also made a brief journey home today because, being the absolute numpty I am, I forgot to pack my fresh contact lenses which meant that I was trusting my previous pair to hold out beyond their time. Bit harsh, asking them to work overtime really. So I popped home and changed my eyes. I also snuggled my dogs and spoke to my parents for a bit. Tillie came with me, for the ride, and seemed slightly bemused by my Mum offering to buy her a super tasteful Christmas jumper. She’s ordered me one. It’s so cool. I’M SO EXCITED.

Please bear in mind it is super novelty. It’s not classy or sophisticated or tasteful at all. It’s novelty and hilarious and I love it. I can’t wait for it to arrive so I can live in it until March. Yaaay. I’m going to leave you with that teaser for now. When I get it, I’ll take a picture so you can see. But you’ll have to wait. If I have to, so do you!!

It’s going to be worth it though.
Promise!

Feeling Lucky?

Not so much.

My ride today was a bit of a let down to be honest. Nothing in particular went wrong, it just wasn’t great. I had Lucky, a coloured cob, who is generally quite sweet but just as bolshy and rude as any other pony. He lacks manners a lot of the time, and is a bit of a pain in the arse to ride. I do not really enjoy him, it takes a lot of effort to get him to do anything and you get very little back in return. I understand why, he’s green and a bit of a baby, but that doesn’t stop it being completely frustrating. Urgh! His trot is okay, he gets a nice rhythm going in that. If it weren’t for the constant napping towards other horses and refusal to bend to the inside, it would be quite pleasant. Canter on the other hand, is practically pointless. He does not have a natural canter at all and only occasionally manages to strike off on the right leg. It’s the most peculiar, bumpy canter. His one saving grace is that his transitions are, on the whole, pretty sharp. He responds to the leg, but only in a stop/start manner. Leg yield is a mystery to that horse.

The rest of the day was kind of “bleh” too. All our lessons were okay, but nothing more than that. It’s just been “one of those days” I guess. Not a lot going on, not a lot to look forward to. I am quite looking forward to going to bed to be honest. Di-Di made my bed up all nicely with an extra big snuggly duvet and loads of blankets and pillows and everything. It’s like a squishy warm paradise! Getting up this morning was really tricky, and climbing back in is going to be blissful. Might have to get an early night, just so I can revel in the wonders of being cosy and comfy. Mm mm mmm. Kinda wish I didn’t have to do anything tomorrow so I could get a cup of tea and stay all warm and happy. But alas, I have college. I may not have a lesson first thing, but if I don’t go in at my normal time there will be literally nowhere for me to park. Sigh.

Turns out it’s Bonfire Night tonight. Not that I can see any evidence of it around here. There are no fireworks to be heard, which is probably for the best given the two little kittens playing at my feet, and the only fire is a very well contained one in the stove in front of me. Kittens, a log fire and five layers of jumpers? Yup, sometimes I live the very picture of countryside idyll. My grandmother even very sweetly brought me a cup of tea a minute ago. The one thing about kittens, however, is that they are not in the least bit helpful when it comes to doing anything! Harry decided that my blog would be better if he sat on it.

I like to watch fireworks. I don’t like the sounds, the constant bangs drive me crazy. But I love love love the colours and the shapes they create. So I’m a touch on the sad side not to be able to see any. Instead I’ll just have to look at pictures of ones I’ve seen before.

Boom. Fizzle. Oooh. Aaah. Sparkly.

I think probably the highlight of my day was finding this link on Facebook and laughing so much that I ended up with tears streaming down my face, struggling to breathe and with my stomach hurting so much that I started feeling sick. They’re very silly, mostly rude, and totally hilarious!

http://funkypickens.com/25-funny-auto-correct-fails/

Oh my. Off I go again.
Tehe.

That Time Again

 Once again we find ourselves preparing to leave Ireland.

We’ve not been here as long this time, so I suppose we’re not quite as emotionally compromised when it comes to leaving. I doubt there’ll be the same soggy t-shirts and track marked cheeks that there were on the day we left in August. I still need to actually pack my bag, but I really don’t want to. I just hate packing!

Our last day on the yard was fairly decent. We entertained the pony campers by playing some pony games this morning. They were all allowed to ride bareback. We also decided to make all of the ponies look beautiful and plait them up. I took on the beast that is Tonto and made him look pretty. He was less than impressed at the whole process.

We also took the remaining campers out for a trek after lunch which ended up with Keli having to throw some serious discipline at one of the ponies who had decided to try rearing and bucking rather than going over the cross country jumps. What an idiot of a pony. My lovely horse, Skelatchi, was the opposite being so keen to jump (once he finally locked on) that he leapt 6ft over the relatively small jumps. Honestly! That horse thinks he’s a racer half the time. I do love him though. He popped his head up and greeted us as we walked down to the house on our way home. Cutie.

There was a lovely sunset this evening. I do like a nice sunset. The fact that it was in gorgeous mountain scenery only makes it better.

We had to say goodbye to Keli this evening though, which was quite sad. She’s so awesome. I do love that girl. We had a massive hug, Tillie, Keli and myself. So much love on the yard this evening.

So it’s an early night for us tonight as we’ll be leaving quite early tomorrow to get to the airport in time to check in and such. Then it’ll be up up and up we go for another super exciting flight, this time in the opposite direction. My lovely Mum will be meeting us at the airport and taking us back up to the Shire just in time for me to finish off one of my assignments and be plunged straight back into college on Monday. Crazy shit.

It’s been nice to be here, and have some time away. It’s been quite physically demanding, but I think that’s because we packed in a lot in a short space of time which made it quite intense. Seeing familiar faces and spending time with brilliant people has made it worthwhile though. I’d have made the trip for the view alone. I love it that much.

I’ll be back again, of that I have no doubt. Also, I promised Keli.

So, until the next time Ireland.

Stay beautiful.

Started Early…

…took my wellies.

And a bloody good job I did!! Drive hundreds of horse boxes and trailers through a single field gateway and what do you get? Mud. And lots of it. They had to tow everyone one with tractors actually, because the boxes were all getting stuck. The entrance looked like it had been ploughed up, it was that bad. Crazy! It was remarkable to see how one day without rain dried it all up though. We were able to drive out at the end of the day without a hitch.

Today was my first experience of any horse competition whatsoever. I went along with the owners of a nearby stables to a one-day event at Broadway. They were competing two horses today, one who was being brought down a grade to try and stop him from being such a “lairy shit” and the other a five year old on her first proper outing. Because the rider is Advanced, however, they were both competing Hors Concours. Which, for anyone who doesn’t know, means that they completed each stage of the even as normal and received points/penalties in the same way but were not ranked at the end of it. So even if they had got the best scores, they would not have been placed. Which is ideal for young horses starting out, building up experience of this kind of thing.

After my early start and minor detour on my way to the stables (they’re a two minute drive literally straight up the road, and yet somehow I got lost in the dark) we bundled into the lorry and drove off. I had a dog on my lap for the whole journey so my clean clothes were not so clean by the time we arrived. After the debacle of being towed across a field to park up, we had to jump out and start getting the first horse ready straight away.

While it was a very busy, quick change kind of day, it was nothing too manic or stressful. There was a lot of super fast tack changing and last minute checks, but it never felt like there was anything to worry about. Christine and Colin are old hats at this game, so they knew exactly what they needed to do at each point, which made it easy for me to just slot in and do what was asked of me. As the day went on I gradually got more confident with picking up what kind of things needed doing and when, but for the most part I waited for instruction as I didn’t want to mess anything up by trying to run before I could walk. I was quite happy handling the horses, so I made myself useful holding them while the others changed tack/boots/jackets etc. And once I knew what tack the horses were wearing, I was perfectly content to chuck on a bridle and brushing boots etc. I even re-plaited a forelock (using only one plaiting band I might add….mad skills!). It had come out while the horse was in the box and Colin asked whether my plaiting was any good. I said I’d give it a go but that I hadn’t done it in a while. So I did. And it turned out pretty well. He asked whether I was happy with it and I looked at it critically for a while before saying “actually, yeah, it’s not bad” to which he said “it’s very good, I’m happy with that”. So, I can still plait. Fist pump!

I also got to watch a lot of the stages. Obviously, Colin and I went and watched Christine complete each stage with both horses, but I was also observing many of the other riders and their horses at the same time. I found it quite stimulating to be in an environment with so many horses doing so many different things. I did spend some of the day doing my best not to get run over though, as to get to the dressage arenas we had to walk through the warm up area which meant dodging and ducking through various 20m circle and centre line practices. I found myself getting quite involved with some of it, in a quiet kind of way. I picked up the dressage test movements quite quickly and recognised when someone was going wrong etc. I was also able to observe a number of riders battling for control over their horses in the show-jumping stage and found myself thinking at them “slow down, slow down”.

Even watching the cross-country, something I’ve no experience of myself, I was looking and wondering whether maybe that horse wasn’t going quite well enough to make it over the jump; hence the refusal. Or maybe the rider shouldn’t have kicked on quite so hard as they approached the water, they might not have skidded if they’d taken it slower. I could definitely see the difference in riders and horses who had done this kind of thing before, and those who were just starting out. There was a kind of nervous energy around the pairs that hadn’t been to such a big event before. And this was quite a small one apparently.

It was great though, I really enjoyed it. I’m delighted that Christine and Colin wanted to give me the chance to go with them and experience it. Working with them, even if it’s only now and then, is a really fantastic opportunity for me and they’re such lovely people that I can’t help but feel comfortable and happy around them and their horses. The eventing season is coming to an end now, but I still intend to go up to the stables and help out after college when I can, just to continue working with different horses and gaining extra insight into another part of the equine world.

I also saw the lovely Louise today. She was competing her horse, Winnie, at the same event. I missed her dressage test, as I was busy fixing up Christine’s second horse, but I was able to catch her doing her show-jumping and cross country stages as she was only a few horses in front of Christine. She did really well and I was really pleased to be able to watch her in action. And to meet the beautiful Winnie of course. I don’t know how she did over all, but I thought she did well regardless. So, well done Louise and Winnie. Nice work ladies.

My day was almost ruined by a diabolical journey home. 35mph the whole way with every passing vehicle throwing spray over my windscreen and an Audi sitting so close on my bumper I couldn’t even see his lights! Delightful. He nearly went into me on several occasions. And there was nothing I could do about it. That’s the worst thing, is when there’s a wanker driving behind you, you can’t do anything. You just have to ignore them. But given that I was also sitting behind a complete pillock who slammed on the brakes at every bend in the road or oncoming vehicle or falling leaf….it was not an easy journey.

But with a cup of tea and a Ruby Roo I was able to chill and remember that I’d had a pretty awesome day after all. I fully intended to take pictures while I was there, but I just didn’t have time. And I completely forgot as well. There is that.

And this evening it has been just me and my parents as Ben was out at a party (apparently dressed as a TMNT). It was quite a nice relaxed evening really. Just what I needed. With homemade apple pie. Mmmmmm. Tasty!

I am completely and utterly shattered. I got up before it was light, spent the entire day in the middle of a series of fields playing with ponies and/or travelling, and am going to bed after the light has gone. Pooped doesn’t cover it. But I am also heartened. I had a good experience today and I know it will have contributed something to my person.

Now for a joke. This one is something pretty special. For the most part it was made up by my Mum when she was a little girl, with only one slight alteration by me this evening to make it all the better. Here goes:

“Why did the cow eat the grass?”

…

“Because it wanted to be a lawn-mooer”